I’m sensitive about this whole judgment-about-appearance thing since some people seem to think it’s cool to tell me “I thought you would be dumb!” because I have blonde hair and am somewhat curvaceous.

YES, BECAUSE INTELLIGENCE IS DIRECTLY CORRELATED TO PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. THAT’S NOT SOME OUTDATED VICTORIAN ARCHETYPE AT ALL, YO.

No, seriously, I’ve had several people say to me that I’m “smarter than I look” which is supposed to be some sort of compliment?  Because I “look” like I’d be stupid? WTF.

I’m feeling extra stabby today and I’m sleep deprived so I’m going to rant.

I was NOT saying in the previous post that no woman ever dresses for attention ever. People dress for ALL SORTS OF REASONS. OBVIOUSLY there are times when a woman shows off her tetas because she wants attention. No shit. 

I WAS saying that it’s bullshit to assume the only reason a woman would dress in a certain way is because she “wants the attention” or is “asking for it.” It’s also bullshit to invalidate women who complain about the attention, because sometimes that attention turns into UNWANTED HARASSMENT. There’s a difference between looking/noticing and between creating a hostile environment in the public sphere. There’s a difference between checking a girl out and trying to fuck with her and there are a lot of people out there who DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT LINE. 

Maybe I’m sensitive because I was followed home two weeks ago by a guy who said “BUT LOOK WHAT YOU’RE WEARING!” but I do not want to have to make my outfit choices because some fucking STRANGER ON THE STREET is going to think I’m dressing “just for him.” NO.

Ugh, maybe it’s the sleep deprivation talking, but I hate everything and it really bothers me that people on Tumblr are buying into some sexist-ass assumptions about women’s decisions and motivations. Hate hate hate.

jessicalouise:

Anyway. If a girl is going to get her tits out why doesnt she just be honest about liking the attention?

Also? Why is everyone re-blogging this and taking issue with it? Nowhere in my post did i mention girls with big breasts whose breasts are just so big they can’t help but accidentally showing a bit cleavage. Cause obviously there’s a difference between that and getting them out on purpose.

Because it’s PRETTY FUCKING PRESUMPTUOUS, not to mention sexist, to just straight up assume that someone is showing cleavage because they “want attention” and “like the attention”?

That’s seriously one step away from the “She deserved it, look what she was wearing!” argument. Seriously. “She wanted it, or else she wouldn’t have dressed that way!” Are you listening to yourself? This feeds into an idea that women’s bodies are public property and not our own to control — or that we must hyper-control ourselves because the boys “just can’t help themselves.”

I’m not saying that women never, ever dress because they want male attention. But let’s be real here, women are, um, complex human beings with different motivations and reasons for doing things. Acting as though women are some sort of hive mind is demeaning.

There’s also the statement you make that “if women don’t like the attention then they should cover up”. Why should I change my behavior because someone else is being an asshole? I realize “that’s the way it is”, but I sure as hell am going to fight for it not to be. We women might as well just say “Fuck with it” and wear burqas if some men are going to use the tired old “biological imperative” excuse to forgive themselves for acting like jerks.

Also, you say “Why not just wear a T-shirt?” I’ll tell you why: that might be fine on the weekend, but what about, um, during the workday? It’s hard to find professional looking clothes for curvy girls.

jessicalouise:

Pet hate: chicks who complain about the attention they get from guys yet who are constantly showing off their cleavage.

It’s just something i will never understand. Especially when they dress in a way that makes it seem like they think their tits will shrivel up and fall off if they dont get air. I mean, if you get your tits out all the time people will look. Even i will look. And you know what? I don’t want to look. It just makes me think that these chicks are insecure and gagging for attention.

Exceptions, obviously, are if you’re going for a night out on the town where everyone is a bit underdressed (cause they want to pick up, obviously.)

What if there aren’t many outfits you can wear without showing your boobs? When you’re boob-ular, it’s hard to wear cover-up things and not get uni-boob or look frumpy.

Also, I’ve already had this conversation, but I don’t dress for other people’s enjoyment. I dress for my own. If someone thinks I’m deliberately provoking them to stare at my tetas, they need to check befo’ they wreck themselves.